Have you ever asked a mentor for help and then cringed at their recommendations? This recently happened to me when I asked my business coach for advice. “I want to improve my presentation skills,” I said. “What do you recommend?”
I expected him to suggest a training course or recommend a book to read on the subject. Instead, he told me that I should take improv classes. “Improv? Like comedy and theater?”
Initially, I resisted this recommendation. “I’m trying to improve my business presentation skills. How is an improv class going to help with that?” I procrastinated, hoping my business coach would let me off the hook. But one day he called me out, “If you want to improve your communication skills, you need to try this.” Reluctantly, I scheduled my first class.
As I learned about the world of improv, I quickly realized why my coach made this recommendation. What I thought I knew about improv was wrong. Improv, I discovered, is all about creating a connection with an audience. Although everything that happens in improv is spontaneous, I learned that there are rules that guide what happens on stage. There is a framework that, when followed, almost inevitably creates meaningful connection between the actors and the audience. I also discovered that I could use the fundamentals of improv to create more meaningful connections with clients, to present ideas effectively, and to navigate complex conversations in a natural way.
One of the first things I learned was the need to change my perspective on communication. In the world of improv, you will hear this mantra, “There are no mistakes.” If something unexpected happens, it is not ignored, glossed over, or forgotten. It becomes part of the story.
How does that apply to our business?
Many times, before a client conversation or presentation, I played out different scenarios in my head. I wanted to be prepared if something unexpected happened, if something “went wrong.” This habit did not help me communicate more clearly. It did not necessarily help my meetings go better. Most of those imagined scenarios never took place. But trying to anticipate every potential turn of the conversation caused unnecessary stress.
Taking a cue from improv, I’ve resolved to approach communication with the belief that “There are no mistakes.” Instead of trying to predict and control the flow of conversation, I want to accept the unexpected things, recognizing that these too are part of the story. This approach to communication has the potential to create a unique experience for everyone involved.
One of the first rules my improv instructor gave me is to always affirm what your scene partner says or does. He said, “It’s really hard to work with someone on stage if they keep negating everything you say or do.”
Acceptance or affirmation does not mean that you necessarily agree with what the person says, but it means we understand this is the other person’s reality.
Improv showed me that when I am in conversation with a client, I need to slow down and take time to affirm their concerns. One of improv rules that makes this point is this, “When someone tells you something, treat it like a gift.” In other words, you receive what’s being said, accept what they are saying instead of simply responding with our different viewpoint.
For example, if we have a client that is fearful of market volatility, we need to accept it. Instead of responding with reasons they shouldn’t be scared, we could respond by saying something like, “You know, in the past, I spent a lot of sleepless nights worried about market volatility. That concern motivated us to develop new strategies that can help address this issue.” This response affirms what the client said, avoids blocking, and creates an opportunity to find a solution together.
“Listen without judging.” This is closely related to the idea of affirmation, but the nuance is worth mentioning.
Failure to actively listen is a common problem in client conversations. I have often found myself in conversation, listening, not to understand, but to respond. As the person across the table was talking, I was crafting my response. They hadn’t even finished what they were saying, but I knew how I was going to respond. By doing this I wasn’t fully present to hear what was being said. This is another form of blocking in communication.
For clients to know they are being heard, we must practice the improv skill of listening without judging. This means being fully present. Seeking to understand. Paying attention all the way through. This may feel uncomfortable. There might be times where we don’t know how to reply. But if the client knows they were heard, it is a risk worth taking.
Remember what I said at the beginning? Improv is about creating connection. Applying these improvisational communication rules provides a framework for developing a trust-based relationship. Since I began implementing these ideas, I have discovered that each client conversation develops into a unique connection. Before practicing these concepts, client conversations often felt scripted. If I had several client meetings in one day, it became boring and tiresome. I felt like I was mostly repeating the same things over and over. Now, each client meeting develops into its own unique experience, an experience that is more engaging and produces better results for everyone.
By no means am I an expert in improv. But I’ve found great value in what I’ve learned so far, and I thought it was worth sharing. If you would like to unpack these ideas in greater detail, please contact me using the information below.
